Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Rough Day

So, this morning, I got a (not so) great wake-up call. I didn't get the job. And, once again, I let it ruin my day. I hate when I do that. I allow Satan to use circumstances to affect my mood. That shouldn't be. I've just been such an Eyore lately and I hate it.

I know that God has something better for me out there, I know that God has a plan for my life- how many times have I encouraged other people with that, yet I am finding it a hard to believe it for myself.

So... in an avoidance effort, I followed Abby's lead and took a few "personality" quizzes to distract myself.

#1- This one is wierd... Me? Balanced? I certainly don't think so very often. Especailly today.

You Have A Type A- Personality

You are one of the most balanced people around

Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want

You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back

Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!

You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

#2- This was also weird, b/c it was the same as Abby. I thought it was going to say somethign like Milan or Vennice. Wrong again!

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions.

You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

#3- I just did the MB type thing, so I didn't do it again. I always get the same thing: ESFJ.

If only I could get a job now where I took online quizzes! ;)

Monday, June 25, 2007

Pagan baby

I think I may want to name my first daughter Mary Twiggy.

*wipes tears from my eyes*

Oh, I do love the funny.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Yes, Lord.

A few thoughts, as pull I out of this "blah" feeling.

1. Matt & Ginny (who I don't know) went through something similar to what my friends, the Joneses did this year. I love what Matt said here. I want, for my life, what their pastor prayed over them at their wedding.

"Enough blessing that they know Your hand is upon me. Enough difficulty to force me to You.”

That sounds about right.

2. Amanda had this today, and it's a great illustration of God's faithfulness.

3. God is so good. After I typed out my feelings last night, I went to bed, and spent a long time in prayer. As I woke this morning, again, He is gracious and gave me a new day, and a new perspective. I'm not feeling anxious about the job anymore. I am still anxious about other things, but I know He will work those out too. Thank you Lord, for your faithfulness.

4. That's really it. I just felt like I should have a 4th thing. ;)

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Please pray....

Two of God's delights Amy and Amelia, could use your prayers at this moment.


That's how I feel today. Blah.

I didn't get a call about the job today (in my head, I feel like I didn't get the job b/c I didn't get a call, obviously, that's not the only answer/option, but, I'm feeling really down about it all) and Satan used that to really mess with me. I want that job, and it's something that excites me, which I want out of a new job (my current job is stressful- more on that some other day, suffice it say that it gets hard emotionally seeing people struggle, and I don't know how much longer I can do it), but I'm afraid of a lot of things.

I'm afraid that I won't get something new (and more fun!). I'm afraid no one will want to hire me. I'm afraid I'll be living with my mom until I'm 80. I'm afraid no boy will ever pursue me again. I'm afraid I'll never get married. I'm afraid I'll never have kids (ok, those last things are obviously intertwined, but you get my drift). I'm afraid that this is "it" for my life.

I want good things to happen to me. Is that selfish? Yeah, probably, but that's honestly how I feel right now. BUT, I'm having a terribly rough day believing that God has good things in store for me. That He desires good things for me and that this is not "it". I know intellectually that someday I'll look back at this time in my life and wonder why I worried so much, but on this side of that time, worry is where I'm at.

Matthew 7: 9-11 says "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I know these are true! Today, I having a hard time believing it. I'm clinging to my Savior, but today has been a hard day. Psalms 4 & 5 show David crying out to God- that is me tonight. Abba, hear my cry!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Interview update

I had my final interview today at the university for the job I mentioned. I was under the impression that I was going to interview with a large group of people, maybe 5-6 people, instead, I had 6 one-on-one interviews with the "final round" people! I took almost two hours!

It. Was. Exhausting.

And then I wanted to cry.

Seriously. The interviewS went very well. I was happy with how I presented myself, happy with how I felt God leading the conversations, and happy with my "selling myself"-ness (a part I HATE about interviewing- don't they just KNOW I'm fantastic?). But I got in my car afterwards and just wanted to cry. And call my dad. I have been in a funk since Father's Day, so that could be part of it. Father's Day is so weird when you don't have an earthly father anymore to see or call or buy even just a card for. I mentioned my near crying fit to a co-worker afterwards and she thought that maybe since it was so long I was just intellectually spent and needed just an emotional release, which makes sense.

All that to say, it was a weird day. The interview went good (ok, great even, but I'm too much of a pessimist when it comes to things about me), but it was a strange day. I'm hoping to hear by Friday about whether I got the position or not. I'm nervous. I feel like I'll be a failure if I don't get it, which, I know isn't true, but that's how I feel.

If you're reading this, keeping praying for me, please! Thanks!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

I won!

I woke up this morning, checked my email before heading off to work, and had this email in my inbox from the ladies at Indie Babies!!!

"You have won the Ten Things Instant Freebie from last Friday’s post!!"

TEN things?????? Me?????? Alright!

I can't believe I won something! And it looks SO good.

Thanks ladies at Indie Babies! I'll certainly be regaling all (2 who read my little blog) about the products once I get them in the mail. I can't wait!

Sunday, June 17, 2007


I usually think these things are like horoscopes- vauge enough to fit anyone, but yikes- this was actually pretty darn close.

You Are An ESFJ
The Caregiver
You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.
In love, you value harmony and mutual understanding.You will apologize or give someone the benefit of the doubt, if it means getting over a fight sooner.
At work, you are good at building relationships and connecting with people.You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher. How you see yourself: Organized, dependable, co-operative
When other people don't get you, they see you as: Opinionated, critical, and know-it-all.

Because I am boastful of Minneapolis...

BooMama wanted to know about our favorite burgers, so, I mentioned the ever-wonderful Edina Grill, here in Minneapolis. I needed to bring my review over here too.

Folks, it is A-MAZ-ING.

Seriously, the Turkey Burger is THE best burger I’ve ever had. If you ever are in MN (and you should DEFINITELY visit) you HAVE to try it.

This “diner” is like none other. The Turkey burger consists of “ground turkey, peanuts, jalapeno, onion, garlic and curry seasonings blended together & topped with pepper jack cheese, poblano pesto aioli and greens”.

Who puts curry in a burger? And then mixes it with peanuts?

It’s out of this world. I never would have, but after trying it- I thought I may have just eaten pure Manna. Add the sweet potato fries with it and you are in burger heaven. It’s always my favorite place to get a burger.

Too bad it's so late, or I'd go get one.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

In memorium...

All I have to say is, what a woman. And, well done, Mrs. Graham. You served your God well. Thank you.

Relying on God. It's a good thing.

So, that interviewed I mentioned I had here? Well, today (a week and a half later- this HAS to be the longest hiring process ever ;) ) I got a call for a final interview. YAY!

I really do want the job. The place won (again) one of the "Best Christian Workplaces Institute" awards by the BCWI. The people I'd work with seem SO fun. And it's pretty much exactly what I am looking for. It's down to me and one other person. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be upset if I didn't get it.

BUT, I am choosing to trust the Lord in this. He knows my heart, He knows who's best for this position, and I certainly don't want a job that is outside of His plan for me. So, I am trusting Him and following Him in this venture.

Doubt is not a option here. Giving into the "why would they want me" and the "I'm sure they'll find someone better" aren't an option here. Believing those things is giving into Satan and I won't do that. I have good, Godly friends who speak love and truth into me and their "you're BEYOND perfect for the job!" and "why wouldn't they want you?" are like air to me at times when the enemy can get me down. And, most of all, they are praying for me. I love my friends. They're just such great people to have on your side.

So, I am asking the (literally) 10 people who read my little bloggy corner, will you pray for me too? The position is on the Campus Events team at a local Christian University & Seminary (want to guess which one?) planning and executing events. My final interview is on Wednesday at 1 pm. Thank you, I covet your prayers.

Monday, June 11, 2007

My favorite people

Last year, some dear friends from college went through the most trying year of their lives. Sweet baby Payton Christine was born on April 26th, 2006.

When she was born, her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck (twice even, maybe) and she had a hard time breathing. She also had a few skin tags. After a series of tests, the doctors quickly discovered that she had a heart condition and needed immediate help at the Mayo clinic. Payton was air-lifted there and within a few grueling days, even the next day I believe, she had a surgery to widen her aorta and fix a hole between her ventricles.

A long story and many prayers later, sweet Payton was released from Mayo in June. They went home to spend the summer as a "normal" family. I finally got to meet Payton during this time, when they came to the Cities (what Minnesotans call the Minneapolis/St. Paul area, derived from "the Twin Cities"- I know, we're weird). She was beautiful! And tiny. And fragile. Aaron and Heather had to feed her via a tube in her stomach, and you couldn't pick her up under her arms because of said tube. But she was wonderful, and because of things she had endured, her vocal cords were temporarily damaged so her sweet, tiny cries were about the cutest thing I'd ever heard.

They settled into "life as normal" for a couple months, and then went to Mayo for a check up in August. Everything seemed fine, but as they were packing up to leave Rochester, Payton had a seizure. After yet another series of tests, they discovered that the starting point of the aorta in her heart was narrow. They couldn't repair it before because she was so small. The tests showed that that spot had worsened and that it was even more narrow. She was also diagnosed with what's called CHARGE syndrome.

Another long story and many prayers later, she endured a surgery and many tests before the doctors had to put her on ECMO because she needed a heart transplant. As far as I know, she was on EMCO for the longest a baby at Mayo had ever been (7-1/2 weeks, the longest had been 6 weeks previously). Amazingly, the Lord provided a heart on the evening of October 4th! She was a trouper and God sustained her though the surgery.

But, sweet baby Payton had been through so much, and endured so much. Her body was so weak that she couldn't come off of ECMO right after the surgery and her little body just couldn't take anymore; she passed away two days later, on the 6th.

Her life was a wonderful testimony to God's power and sovereignty. Just because she wasn't healed this side of eternity, doesn't mean He is not willing or able to heal us or grant our requests. She is healed! God just choose to heal her in a different way than we wanted. She had a long road ahead of her, and God spared her a life of doctor's visits and surgeries. She is at peace, and is with her Savior.

Aaron and Heather loved her and cared for her and prayed over her like only they could. They were amazing parents, advocates, and prayer warriors for her over her short 6 months on this earth. Their grace and wisdom through all of this has been inspiring and challenging.

I wept for them like I'd rarely wept before. My father had died 10 months before and Payton's illness and passing reminded me of the time when dad was sick and then died. Living in the "wait and see" lifestyle, living moment to moment in hospitals, and then the aching grief of a life gone from us all too soon. Not that losing a parent and losing a child are the same thing, but grief is a rocky road and hard thing to explain. It's a club that no one wants to enter, but a club that brings understanding none the less within it's members- at least to a degree.

Well, today, I was talking to Cindy, my dear friend who (also a friend from college) who is married to Aaron's brother. She said that they (Cindy and Cory) just found out this weekend and that she had permission to say, but Aaron and Heather are following God's leading and working towards adoption!

They are looking at a baby from South Korea, India or Ethiopia. AND, they want to get a "heart baby"! They feel like the Lord has placed in them a desire to care for "heart babies" and grow their family.

How amazing is that?

Just about an hour before Cindy called, I was reading someone's blog who was talking about going through the adoption process and they want a baby with no medical problems. While I can understand that, and these people are Godly people from what I can tell, but it seems to me that if you're planning on following through with adoption and this is a calling on your life from the Lord, putting parameters on it like a "healthy baby" just seems off. I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but I do. I think adoption is as John Piper puts it, is an "overflow of the inheritance that you have in Christ from God, your Father." And I don't think it's really for us to set parameters around that.

But to go beyond and to seek out a "heart baby" is so compassionate, and Christ-like, and, well, Aaron and Heather like. They are just those kind of people. They know the heart ache this may bring. They also know the joy this will bring. They are willing to step into the water and let the Lord lead them. They are willing to joyfully accept what the Lord wants to bless them with, and they have no regrets. Payton was a miracle, as will be this next baby.

I am excited to see them go through these steps and follow the Lord in this new adventure. I hope that if the Lord allows me to be a mother someday, that my husband and I can live up to the high standard that Aaron and Heather have set.

They are my favorite people, not because they are fun (but oh are they!), but because they are unabashed with their faith and their commitment to follow the One who died for them. They continually point me (and everyone who knows them) to the Lord. Oh how I love them!

If you would, join me in praying from them and New Baby Jones.

- Slide show of sweet baby Payton.
- My favorite picture of Payton.
- My favorite picture of Aaron and Payton.
- My favorite picture of Heather and Payton.

Monday, June 4, 2007


Gosh, it's been a busy couple of weeks! As Abby said, I just need to keep posting! I know. I know. As she also said, People just need to get to know me. So, here goes.

- Olive is my grandma's name.
- I think it's pretty.
- My real name is spelled so bizarrely that if I told you it and you knew where I lived, you'd easily be able to find me and chop my little body in to many littler pieces.
- I don't want that.
- So, I took on Olive as a blogging moniker.
- I think Olive can be just the name, or sounds like "I live" sometimes.
- Is that weird?
- You can call me Olive.
- I am 26.
- I am single.
- Part of me wishes I wasn't.
- Someday, I want to be married and have kids.
- I love kids.
- I live in Minneapolis, MN.
- See? Now you know where I live.
- I work in the non-profit industry.
- I was a missionary after college.
- I live with my mom and sister.
- Yeah, I know.
- I'm moving out (again) soon.
- I moved in to save money.
- And then my dad got sick.
- I stayed to help out after he died.
- I miss him a lot.
- But I know he's at peace now.
- I want a fun, cute apartment I can decorate.
- I want a new job also.
- When I get a new job, I'll move out.
- I had an interview today.
- I really want the job.
- It'd be doing events at a Christian University/Seminary.
- I get nervous about these things and have a hard time trusting God.
- I want to trust God with ALL areas of my life.
- It's hard sometimes.
- I am short.
- That was random.
- I love to sew.
- And craft.
- Basically, I wish I was Martha Stewart.
- Or, worked for her.
- I'd apply if she didn't freakin' live in NY.
- I wish she lived near a beach.
- I'd be there in a second.
- I'm a bit of a clean/neat freak.
- My mom and sister call me Monk.
- They're joking.
- I'm REALLY not that bad.
- I only have a few eccentricities.
- Like, I all the switches on a light switch panel to face the same way.
- Or, I can't sleep if my closet door is open.
- I like things to be straight.
- Crooked freaks me out.
- Especially in pictures.
- That's about it for my Monk tendencies.
- I just think Monk is HYSTERICAL.
- And sad.
- I am the oldest of 3.
- My brother is a year and a half younger than me.
- My sister is 8 1/2 years younger than me.
- I remember pretty much all of her life.
- I saw ALL of her birth.
- I cut the umbilical cord when she was born.
- She's graduating from high school on Thursday.
- That makes me want to cry.
- When she was born in 1989, I remember thinking that I'd be SO old in 2007 and that we'd probably have flying cars.
- Why? Because Back to the Future II told me so.
- I'm sad my dad will miss her graduating.
- I can't believe she's almost an adult.
- I hope she doesn't get married before me.
- Seriously.
- I'm one of the only single people left from my group of college friends.
- There was one more.
- He met a girl on eHarmony.
- That seems weird to me.
- I think it removes the "pursuing" aspect.
- And, it seems desperate.
- I know that's not really true, it's just my opinion currently.
- My opinion may change.
- I still never want to do eHarmony.
- I want to marry a funny man.
- I doubt funny translates over eHarmony.
- Mostly, I want to marry a man who LOVES Jesus.
- And loves the lost.
- And loving LOST wouldn't hurt either.
- But that one's not a deal breaker.
- I love LOST.
- Have you read my blog before?
- I also love babies.
- And kids.
- I don't work with kids.
- I'm afraid I'd be burned out and not like them so freakin' much.
- So I'm a babysitter extraordinaire to many family friends.
- It's a good baby fix for me.
- My cousin is pregnant for the 2ND time in a year and a half.
- Another cousin just had a baby.
- His name is Henry August.
- August is one of my favorite names for a boy.
- Abby has a son named August.
- I also like her 1st daughter's name a LOT.
- I'm not sure how to pronounce her 2ND daughter's name.
- I like it though.
- Is that weird?
- Most names I like for my now fictional children start with an "A"
- I wish I didn't think of those things.
- Until I get married.
- I also think about my wedding.
- Again, I wish I didn't.
- It's another area I need to trust God in.
- I am motivated by the Great Commission in my life.
- I want everyone to hear about God's plan for their lives.
- It's late.
- I have to work in the morning.
- I should go to bed.
- I'll be back sooner than a week and a half this time.
- I promise.