Question.

Maybe it's me, but do the TV people think we're stupid?

Why is it that EVERY STINKIN' TIME someone on TV gets a phone call with bad news, they HAVE to say (while looking utterly confused, almost as if they'd never even seen their cell phone before) "Wait, slow down. You're. I. I. I can't understand you. You're talking too fast. Now, slow down. What's wrong?"

????

Have you ever got a call like that? Why is that EVERYONE in TV land gets the same call, from the same Micro-Machine talking crazy that can't just, you know, ACTUALLY SAY WHAT HAPPENED.

TV people: we know, from the poorly timed phone call in the middle of their most happy moment, or the eerie music looming, or even the wistful way they're remembering the friend/family member who's about to get in an accident, that the news is coming. And, guess what? You're not in any way being original. You're just replaying the same lame scene over and over again.

Ok, that was several questions. But, in my experience, bad calls start with "ok, everyone's ok, but...(yada, yada, yada)", or "something happened.... (yada, yada, yada)" or even "mom? (that's me saying "mom?")... I got hit by a car (trying to stifle tears, but not in ANYWAY speaking auctioneer style)" [side note- that last one was totally real- and from two springs ago]. But, in my admittedly limited experience with "bad" phone calls, they're not all the frantic, hysterical, I-can't-breathe-but-I-have-to-tell-you-something kind of news. Yes, those calls exist, but that's the ONLY kind of important/bad-news calls TV people get?

It's just like how EVERYONE in TV land has twins.

Funny how that works, huh?